My understanding, from the first I began to think about girls as partners, is that affection and love centers on peace and contentment. As many shared worlds as possible. Intimacy is an escape from the anger and jagged tone of the best day-to-day, let alone the worst. It makes you stronger together. There is a huge torrent of art in all media that reflects this.
Of course, there is a smaller, plainly more obsessive, current of art in all media that reflects the opposite. This is all psychopathology on a sliding scale: slap is fun; beat to pulp is fun; strangle is fun; slash and cut to pieces is fun. Touching on this is not wrong, in fact even worldly. Embodying it is different.
If you got intimate violence out there, I don’t want you to have no control over me whatsoever.